The Many Hats I Wear

I am many things. I am a mother to two beautiful little boys. I am a small business owner, striving to survive during this uncertain time. I am a school teacher, I am the president of a local nursery school, a realtor.

I am many things, I wear many hats.

And yet, the other day I broke down crying, because I didn’t know who I was. I felt as though I had allowed these things to become who I was, and without them, I was a lost soul, with no purpose, nothing to do, no real reason to live.

How could someone who is doing so many things feel so lost in this world?

Then, a wise woman told me “If you feel as though those hats are not enough to define you, it means there is something else you are meant to do that you are not doing.”

Can you imagine, adding yet another thing to my never-ending list of hats to wear?

But as I sat and reflected on what she said, the truth really hit me.

I am holding back, I am clinging on to something that I need to release. I am afraid of the crumbling, I am staying in the comfort zone I have built, because it’s easier, safer. But it’s not enough.

I know I am meant to be writing. I know I am meant to share my words with the world. I have felt it many times in my life, been told many times by various people, but yet, I still hide that part of me. I am afraid to fully commit to writing; I’ve dipped my toes here and there, but there’s still a big part of me that is afraid.

That fear, that which I am holding on to, that is what’s causing me to break down crying, wondering who I am at night, because I feel like I am not enough. I am enough, I simply have to keep on allowing, breathing and following my soul.

My soul wants me to write. I am holding on to excuse after excuse. Is it really any wonder that I’m feeling lost?

So here I am, writing.

I am determined to break down that comfort zone, to let go of what is keeping me from writing and to ensure that I follow my soul, truly and fully. I will allow the universe and the energy to support me, and I will write.

I will write.

-Linda